Mother’s Day can be a particularly challenging and heartbreaking day for women who are struggling to conceive. If you are undergoing fertility treatment or trying to conceive without success, you may have already noticed some anxiety building up in the days before Mother’s Day. While there’s no denying that the holiday can be a painful reminder of what you are missing, here are a few tips on how to make the day a little bit easier for you.

Dropping my daughter off at school the other day, I walked into her classroom to realize that it was pajama day and she was the only kid not in pajamas.  I had forgotten to check the school calendar.  And while I’m being honest, it wasn’t just that day.  I hadn’t checked it for the entire month.  There had been no posted reminders or verbal heads up the day before.  How was I supposed to remember? Immediately, my mind went to “I screwed up.”

When we think of grief, we often think of losing a loved one.  But grief can also be losing the plans you mapped out for your life or losing part of your identity.

Going through fertility treatments can be such an emotional rollercoaster.  Starting out, you may feel hopeful that all your efforts will pay off, then you’re devastated when a cycle doesn’t work out.  You question everything you possibly could have done wrong, only to find the determination and strength to try again.  It’s difficult to ride this rollercoaster without maintaining some hope that what you’re doing will work out eventually.  

But how much hope is ok?

The changes that come along with having a baby are numerous and often surprising.  We live in a society where women are expected to “bounce back” from pregnancy and childbirth - resume work or your typical daily routine, somehow exist on little sleep, and get your pre- pregnancy body back.  How many times have you heard someone say “she looks great for just having a baby!” or “she still has some baby weight to lose”?  It’s as if losing the baby weight is your next greatest achievement in life.  

There is so much confusion about what are typical postpartum feelings and what warrants a conversation with your healthcare provider.  If you try to talk to friends or family, you will likely be given some inaccurate information.  Unfortunately, sometimes even doctors may not recognize the signs of postpartum depression or anxiety.   

I'm pleased to share that I will now be offering a postpartum support group for mothers via egg donation!   I will be co-facilitating the group with my colleague, Jackie Biello, LPC, at my Chatham office.  

If you are someone who has always been committed to exercising regularly, then pregnancy probably hasn't slowed you down much. You know how vital exercise is to your well-being.  So I’m sure that during your pregnancy you were already planning your postpartum return to exercise.  Like many parts of motherhood, returning to exercise after having a baby can throw you some curveballs.

Talking to your kids about mental health struggles is not something that comes naturally for most parents.  You may wonder how much information should you share?  What is the right age to talk about this?  What can young children even understand about depression or anxiety?