5 Tips for Surviving Mother's Day During Infertility
There can be so many painful reminders of your infertility struggle during any given week - pregnant women you see everywhere, conversations with colleagues about children, the latest birth announcement on Facebook. . . Some days it can take all the strength you can muster just to get through a girls’ night when your latest newly pregnant friend shares her news.
But if there is one day in particular that is without a doubt incredibly difficult during infertility, it’s Mother’s Day. And the day after. All the social media posts showing the ways your friends and family celebrated and were honored as mothers is simply too much for your heart to bear right now. You have invested so much energy and effort into becoming a mother, with nothing to show for it. Your feelings are 100 percent valid.
While there is no getting around feeling emotional on Mother’s Day, there are some things you can do for yourself to help ease the pain.
5 Strategies for Coping with Mother’s Day
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
Sounds obvious, right? Sometimes we keep ourselves so busy that we don’t take the time to reflect on our emotions or how difficult a situation may really be. Give yourself permission to slow down for a little bit and consider how you are feeling about where you are at in your parenthood journey. Are you feeling sad, angry, exhausted?
These feelings will come out around Mother’s Day regardless if you pause and reflect or not. But by taking the time to acknowledge your emotions, you can start to make a plan for what will help you get through the day.
2. It’s ok to break tradition and make different plans this year.
If your traditional Mother’s Day plans are more than you can bear right now, it is totally ok to do something different. If your family usually celebrates at a restaurant, a simple change could be eating in instead. Or if you’re not feeling up to being around others right now, you don’t have to be. Take care of yourself and cope however you need to.
3. Take a social media break.
There is no avoiding the Mother’s Day posts. While you can’t avoid motherhood reminders forever, you also don’t need to subject yourself to the inundation that comes from social media. Stay off of social media at least for the day of and the day after, maybe even the whole week if that feels right for you.
4. Do something for yourself.
Make plans to do something that brings you joy or peace. Maybe that’s a massage, a workout, being with supportive friends who get it, or a special date with your partner.
The rollercoaster of infertility is exhausting. Now is the time to take extra good care of yourself. Prioritize your needs and make plans ahead of time. Having something to look forward to will be a welcome distraction and will help you to feel better.
5. Perspective is everything.
This is one day. And yes, it may seem like there are a million of these one days reminding you that you are not a mother. That is totally valid. For now though, you just have to get through this day. You’ll deal with the next holiday or event as that gets closer. One step at a time.
Going through infertility can stir up so many emotions and take such a toll. Some days are easier than others. And others days you just can’t seem to escape all the hurtful reminders of where you thought your life would be. Mother’s Day is no exception. Take extra good care of yourself in the days leading up to and after Mother’s Day. Cope however you need to and do your best to take it one moment at a time.
If you are struggling with where you are on your parenthood journey, schedule a session with Postpartum Health & Harmony today and take the first step towards healing.